Unleashing the Inner Fear

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Resolution, What Resolution? That was my attitude towards making a resolution! Though, I have made numerous list, I have very diligently stuck to the saying “Resolutions are meant to be broken” (I also went by “Resolutions are not meant to be made at all” for the longest time).

But suddenly, I have developed interest in learning new things and challenging my fears. I should have stopped right there, but “No”! I made a “To Do” list for the year as well, to fulfill those interest. Want to know more? Read on, how I dig my own grave and crawled out of it.

Let me tell you, though I carry a look which sends a message “Don’t mess with me” (yes, I know, my friends have made sure to let me know what the look on my face convey), I am scared of everything – Water, Height and even going out of my comfort zone and try something new. Each one of these have mocked me for the longest time but, this year has been my year to mock right back at it. Here are my victims of mockery:

Fear of Water: Early this year, we visited a waterfront cottage with friends. There was canoe, kayaks, lake and my friend’s right in middle of the lake having fun, boating and fishing. Even my little dare devil was in the middle of the lake fishing with her dad. Here, I was watching them have fun and her words playing in my mind “Don’t worry mamma, just come”. Next thing I notice is, I have pulled out a kayak and sailing towards them. Trust me, I was fine till my husband turned around and exclaimed “Wow! Chandini is here”, that’s when it sunk in what I had actually done. I was petrified as my kayak bumped into my friend’s boat (sadly, I couldn’t even hide my fear, my face said it all). As I came back to my senses, my over imaginary mind starts telling me, all the worst things that could happen just to me at that very moment. But surprisingly, I was also having fun being there and to have achieved something that I never imagined, I would ever do! Btw, I did go back again the next day too and still alive. I dint stop there, I went ahead and learnt swimming to overcome my fear of water.

Fear of Height: When it comes to planning, I do it with great dedication but taking part in my own plan is when, I chicken out. It’s been no exception this year too, it’s not one but we planned two theme parks this year for my dismay (not sure what was I thinking). Disney and Hershey’s theme park are not only exciting and fun to just be there but they also have the most deadly rides. Both the parks we visited was for my daughter and my birthdays. So, there was only emotional blackmailing which was played to make me take those dreadful rides. The control freak that I am, I don’t enjoy the rides when I can’t control it, but for a change, I have gone on maximum rides this year compared to what I have done in my whole life and had fun too. Though, I embarrassed my family with my shrill screams and had to be told to stop screaming, as the ride had come to a halt long back (I literally covered my face every time I walked out of a ride and also, tried putting the blame on my daughter. Nah, it dint work).

That’s the ride which tested my screaming capacity

Fear of attempting anything new: Eating Ice cream is fun, playing in snow is fun but standing on an ice???? Nooooooooooo!

Not sure, if I was trying to give the ultimate ice queen Elsa a competition just to get some brownie points from my daughter or if I was jealous that Elsa gets too much attention from my daughter, that I ended up enrolling myself for “Ice Skating”. After a numerous failed attempt to even walk (forget skating), I was just praying that I shouldn’t break any bones in my body, that I had to sit and count it myself. Then, I see my little diva, not just walking but running and waving at me every time she passes by and giving me a thumbs up! Trust me, you don’t mind being a failure in front of your parents but not your kids. That’s when the “Mother Hormones” kicked in and I was jiving (nah! Just exaggerating) but I did learn to glide and sculling. Now I can call myself a “Wannabe Ice Queen”.

Getting high on achieving something is better than getting high on wine (Oh, yes! I can get high on wine). It’s never too late to learn anything new or to self-indulge (especially, if you have kids, I know the guilt trip that moms go through). Every one of us have that one thing, which we always wanted to learn but, never found time or got an opportunity to do. May be in the New Year? Do try and make it happen. Share you stories, you never know whom you might be inspiring and encouraging to take that one little step in fulfilling their dream.

Learning and experimenting should never stop or making that secret “To Do” list!


2 thoughts on “Unleashing the Inner Fear

    Agness of eTramping said:
    April 1, 2017 at 7:30 pm

    These are some of the fears I had to overcome when I decided to travel! Great article!

    Liked by 1 person

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